Tag: Baking

Cheese Pizza : A pull actually worth eating

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‘You hungry?’ I asked, one lazy Saturday afternoon, ruffling my kid’s messy mop. An innocent question, but not really. With a preteen, it’s Russian Roulette.
‘Yeah…’ Child replies, and then with an intensity that came out of nowhere, ‘But, like for pizza, you know? With a really good cheese pull.’
I blink. ‘Cheese pull?’
‘Yeah, you know …’ Child mimics biting into a slice of pizza and pulling away and there’s imaginary cheese dangling in the air.
‘Um…’ I literally had no idea what else to say. I’ve made a 1000 pizzas. This is not a brag or an exaggeration; I worked at my dad’s pizzeria for most of high school and college. What the beans is a cheese pull?
Hoping this wasn’t going to turn into a thing, I retreat to my office to do a little research. And that’s when the rage started. The cheese pull? Yeah, it’s a food stylist gimmick. Which turned into a Tic Tok meme. I HATE Tic Tok. And Memes.
‘Child!’ I yell from my office.
‘What?’ She pokes her head in.
I spin around, jabbing my finger at the screen. ‘It’s just a gimmick! It’s not a real thing.’
Child, not quite sure how hot the water is yet, sticks her toe. ‘Yeah, but that’s what I’m craving …’
My right eye twitches. Child tenses, squares shoulders, and sticks out chin. Child is brave.
‘You know what mimics good pull, Child? Elmer’s glue,’ I hiss. ‘You want I should make you THAT!’
‘Uh …’ But it’s too late. I’ve already swiveled around in my chair, muttering. It’s turned into a thing.
Child quietly retreats to the safety of the lair – double barriers this time – as I hear the distinctive click of the closet door.
So I did what any mildly unhinged, emotionally activated parent would do: I built a cheese pizza worth pulling. Not for the camera. For my sanity. And Child, too. I guess.

Cheese Pizza

Special Equipment

  • Pizza Screen
  • Parchment Paper
  • Box Grater (recommended)
  • Casserole Dish (recommended)

Ingredients

  • 1-12 inch Pizza Crust
  • 1/4 cup Rustic Tomato Sauce
  • 1 cup Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese, shredded
    • *Brand Matters! Alert: Purchase a brand made in Italy, such as Galbani’s or Grande.
    • *Function Note: Milky, salty; gooey and stretchy when melted. The backbone of the cheese pull.
  • 1/4 cup Fontina Cheese, shredded
    • *Function Note: Nutty, buttery; softens the blend and adds creamy depth without overpowering.
  • 3 slices Provolone Cheese, torn
    • *Function Note: Mild tang, nut and butter undertone; bridge between mozzarella’s softness and parmesan’s punch.
  • 1/4 cup Parmesan Cheese, grated
    • *Function Note: Sharp, salty, and savory; finishes the pie with umami and browning power. Doesn’t melt – it punctuates.
  • 2 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Preparation

  • Using your box grater, place it inside the casserole dish. Grate 1 cup of Mozzarella cheese. Next, grate about 1/2 cup of fontina.
  • Drizzle the olive oil on your pizza crust and spread around with a pastry brush, if you have one, or the back of a spoon.
  • Dump a cup of your mozzarella and fontina blend in the middle of the pie and spread outward with your fingers. Leave about a 1/4-inch edge of crust.
  • Grab your three slices of provolone and tear it with your hands. Layer it around the pie as evenly as you can.
  • Using a spoon, drop dollops of the rustic sauce on top of the cheese, again, trying to be even.
    • *Note: Don’t spread it! When I said dollops, I meant dollops.
  • Sprinkle the last of the shredded cheese over the pie to create a light seal over the sauce.
  • Bake the pie at 500 degrees in a traditional oven, or 450 degrees in a counter top oven with the convection setting on, for 10 minutes.
  • Pull the pie out, sprinkle the grated parmesan cheese all over the pie like an angel from heaven sneezing savory salt, and pop the pie back in for 1-2 more minutes to formally seal the deal.

Plating Notes

  • If ya broke, sprinkle some dried parsley.
  • If ya flush, rough-torn fresh basil leaves – fresh oil released from herbs is never not rad.

So I slide that in front of Child. The cheese pull was real, the flavor was there, and what turned into a thing? Yes. You want I should serve you that.

Nom On,

~Crunchy

The Angeleno: Sprawl, Pulse, Juxtaposition

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You know what Los Angeles and New York City have in common? You have to live there to get it. And in my case, ‘there’ is Southern California. Born, raised, never leaving. I don’t care how high the taxes get. Every once in a while, someone will say something to me, some out-of-state soul that’s from … not here, like, ‘California cuisine just means you guys add avocado to everything, right?’ This question betrays such a jaw-dropping level of cluelessness that I really think the creators of Baywatch owe every Southern Californian restitution for the reputation we now have to live with.

So, let me pull you in closer – so I can scream in your ear – ‘Southern California is fusion!’

Bright, alive, cars flowing through the arteries of Greater Los Angeles. Connecting people from all over the globe to the urban pulse; food trucks lined up and down the streets of DTLA, LBC, Inglewood, Koreatown, Hollywood, Pasadena, Glendale, and Santa Monica on a Saturday night, feeding us because you know we’re drunk and need something to soak up that booze, mamacita! Hell, yeah, I want extra kimchi on my pork belly tacos to go with my elote that I got from that other truck! Or, summoning talent from the world’s culinary capitals to spin up inspired dining scapes surrounded by the choreography of the Theater District or the curated calm of Beverly Hills.

But I get it, you are reading this from … not here. And that’s ok. You just make this little pie of mine, throw on a movie that pulls you deep into our vibe – Drive, Heat, LA Confidential, or Mulholland Drive – and taste the juxtaposition. And guess what? There ain’t one damn slice of avocado on it.

The Angeleno

Special Equipment

  • Pizza Screen

Base Recipe

Toppings

  • 1 lb Hot Italian Sausage, ground or in casings
  • 1 Anaheim Pepper, chopped
  • 1 Red Onion, sliced

Preparation

  • Follow the base recipe, everything is the same, including pulling the pie out and grating the parmesan cheese over the pizza and baking it for an additional 1-2 minutes.
  • Topping order does matter, believe it or not. You always start with the flat meats first – pepperoni, salami, ham, then move on to bulkier items – crumbles like beef or sausage, mushrooms, chopped peppers – and finish off with smaller, lighter toppings such as diced onions or sliced olives.

    Anchovies stay in the low boy and are placed on last while you try not to gag. Plastic forks, rosary water, and burning sage help. Or, just get friends that don’t like anchovies on pizza.

Plating Notes

  • Garnish with crushed red pepper, it pluses the whole thing. Scouts honor.

This post is dedicated to the victims of the Los Angeles Fires. To the families who lost homes, memories, and pieces of themselves in the smoke. To the neighborhoods that burned and the ones that held their breath. To the first responders who moved toward the heat while we fled. And to every Angeleno who looked up at an orange sky and still found a way to feed someone, comfort someone, or keep moving.

We are LA. Sprawling, pulsing, grieving, rebuilding. And still cooking.

Nom on,

~Crunchy

Pizza Crust: Surprisingly hard, until it’s not.

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I’ve been making pizza in one form or fashion for years. My first job was actually making pies at Round Table Pizza, so I felt like I knew what I was doing when my kid asked me for pizza a couple weeks ago. No problem, I thought, I’ll even go back to my roots and pick a pizza screen instead of using my beat up old baking sheet from IKEA.

And then the problems started. The first crust was fused to my pizza screen. More research. My second crust kept snapping back and wouldn’t stick to the parchment paper. More research. My third crust was unevenly distributed so it was undercooked in the middle. More research. And, finally, FINALLY, I nailed the bake. Jesus.

Pizza Crust

Special Equipment

  • Parchment Paper
  • Pizza Screen
  • Rolling Pin
    • *Note: I tried twice to stretch this dough with my hands. You know when I started to make progress with my bakes? When I started using my rolling pin. Don’t be a hero.

Ingredients

  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • All Purpose Flour
  • Store-bought dough
    • *Note: This post is about baking technique, but if you want to make your pizza dough from scratch, here’s the recipe I use.

Preparation

  • Drizzle 1 tbsp EVOO into a bowl.
  • Remove your dough from the package and plop (yes, that’s a technical term) into the oiled bowl. Roll it around to get your dough-baby nice and lubed up (also a technical term, just probably not this industry.)
  • Cover the bowl in plastic and let the dough rest at room temperature for no less than 30 minutes. Ideally an hour. Pour a glass of lovely, watch your stories. Relax. Everyone will eat … eventually.
  • Preheat your oven to 500 degrees.
    • *Note: If you have a convection oven, use the 450 degree setting with the convection fan on.
    • *Another Note: You can pre-heat earlier if you want, I just live in a warm climate so heating up my house is not rad.
  • Once the dough has rested, pour another glass – it’s ok, we know you finished the first one, gah-head – and sprinkle all purpose flour all over the counter.
  • Plop your dough onto the counter.
  • Sprinkle your spouse-wrangler, :::cough:::, rolling pin with flour as well.
  • Roll your dough out into approximately a 12-inch circle.
    • *Note: This isn’t your drafting class. Don’t focus on shape, focus on an even thickness of the rolled-out dough. About 3/4 of an inch will do.
  • Poke your dough with a fork in a few spots to prevent it from puffing up.
    • *Alert!: Do NOT do this step with your dough on the screen.
  • Spray your pizza screen with non-stick and cover with a piece of parchment paper.
  • Slide your rolled out dough on the screen.
  • Bake for 6 minutes.
  • Once the par-bake is complete you are ready to move on to the next step, pizza brilliance.
  • Slide the parchment paper out from under the crust, brush it with EVOO, cheese, sauce, top with ingredients, and slide that bad boy back in the oven for 12 minutes.

If you can nail the crust, I promise you that the rest is easy. You have a blank canvas awaiting your benevolence, or your revenge, depending on whether the chores were done without you nagging.

Nom On, Vino Goddess. You’ve got this.

~Crunchy

Chocolate Cranberry Curd Tartlets

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I found myself pondering this year how to construct a well-balanced cookie tin. I had a lot of people to give gifts too that I don’t see often so I felt a well-designed cookie tin was a safe bet. But how to make it balanced with the right flavors of Yule? As I prepared my list, I realized that what I was missing from my usual rotation was acidity. I needed a cookie with the bright, sweet-tart notes of a winter berry. What’s more winter berry than cranberry? After much exploration, this little 2-bite tartlet was born. It’s no sugar plum, but I watched a video on how to make those and that was insane.

Chocolate Cranberry Curd Tartlets

Special Equipment

Ingredients

For the cranberry curd filling

  • 1 12-oz bag fresh cranberries
  • Note: If you can’t find fresh, sub for 2 cups of frozen
  • 1/2 cup orange juice
  • 2 eggs
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 4 tbsp unsalted butter, softened

For the tart shells

  • Sugar Cookie Mix
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 egg

For the garnish

  • Miniature semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preparation

For the Cranberry Curd

  • To a medium sauce pan, add the cranberries and orange juice.
  • Over medium heat bring to a boil until the cranberries start to pop.
  • While the cranberries are cooking, combine the eggs, sugar, and vanilla in a separate bowl and whisk until combined. Set aside.
  • Using a rubber spatula, crush the cranberries and continue stirring and breaking the berries down until you get a paste.
    • *Note: Some curd recipes call for straining, but I personally like my curd a little bit chunky.
  • Turn off the heat and let the cranberries cool for about 5 minutes.
  • Add the custard mixture to the cranberries and whisk until combined.
  • Return the pan to a medium heat and whisk until the sauce thickens.
  • Once the sauce has thickened, turn off the heat and gradually add the softened butter while whisking until the butter has fully melted and the mixture becomes a curd.
  • Place the contents in a sealed 1-gallon plastic bag and refrigerate for one hour.

For the Tartlets

  • Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.
  • Spray Mini-Muffin Pans with non-stick spray and set aside.
  • In a large bowl, mix sugar cookie mix, the egg, and softened butter with a rubber spatular until a soft dough forms.
  • Using a #40 disher, scoop and form 1.25 inch dough balls. Place each ball into a mini-muffin cup.
  • With the base of your spatular, press an indentation into each dough ball.
  • Bake for 8-10 minutes.
  • Remove tartlets from the oven and repeat the indentations into the center with your spoon or spatula.
  • Allow tartlets to cool inside the tin for 20 minutes to firm their shape.
  • Using a baker’s straight or off-set spatula, loosen the tartlets from the tin and transfer to a cooling rake.
  • Allow tartlet shells to cool for at least 30 minutes.

For assembly

  • Remove cooled cranberry curd and snip the edge of the bottom of the bag to create a space to pipe out the curd.
  • Pipe the curd into each shell so that it creates a little over flow, but try not to smear the edges of the shells with curd. If you do, use a small spoon to clean up the edges.
  • Garnish each tartlet with 3-4 mini chocolate chips.
  • Serve immediately or refrigerate in airtight containers.

This recipe will make approximately 36 cookies. Given the slightly more advanced techniques and call for special equipment, this tartlet may seem daunting. I wrote it up for the most consitent results, but the only equipment you can’t do without is a mini-muffin tin. You can cool your curd in a bowl in the fridge and use a small spoon to full the tartlets, you can loosen the shells with a butter knife, and you can scoop and make the dough balls with your own two hands. I hope you won’t be afraid to try it, the results will be delicious and the lucky recipients will be impressed by your efforts.

Nom On,

~Crunchy

Apple-Toffee Mini Bundt Cakes

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Is it just me, or did Starbucks destroy the fall in North America by creating the pumpkin spice rage? Pumpkin spice has become a meme that has taken over fall and you can’t swing a bag without knocking over 20 displays of products that are flavored or scented with pumpkin spice.

So I present to you the Apple-Toffee Mini Bundt Cake to pay homage to the real queen of fall: The apple. Moist, delicious, and infused with the rich, warm, mischievous flavors of toffee and nutmeg. With this recipe, I give you back fall with all its myriad notes that say goodbye to the summer heat and invite us to enjoy the bounties of the harvest in the cold months to come.

Apple-Toffee Mini Bundt Cakes

Special Equipment:

  • Mini bundt cake electric griddle
  • Optional: Bundt cake pan for full sized bundt cake

Ingredients:

For Cake Batter

  • 1 box spiced cake mix
  • 1 20-oz can apple pie mix
  • 1 cup apple cider
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 3 eggs

For Toffee Glaze

  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar

For the Final Touch

  • 1 Package Heath Baking Bits

Preparation:

For Cake Batter

  • Mix together all ingredients for the batter in a mixing bowl.
  • If you are using a mini Bundt cake maker, follow the manufacturer’s instructions for using the device. For Dash, I had to make one cake at a time in 12-minute intervals. For each cake, I had to spray a little non-stick spray and fill the device 3/4 of the way full. The machine does not turn off on its own so you will need to set a timer.
  • If you are creating a full-sized Bundt cake, spray your pan with non-stick spray and bake at 350 degrees for 35-45 minutes.

For Toffee Glaze

  • Preheat a small sauce pan
  • Add the butter, heavy cream, and brown sugar over medium-high heat.
  • Whisk the ingredients together over the heat while bringing to a boil.
  • Once at a boil, reduce the heat to low and continue whisking for 15-20 minutes until you obtain the desired, sticky consistency.
  • Using a silicon spatula, transfer the mixture to a cool measuring cup with a pouring lip.

To Assemble the Cakes

  • Once the cakes and glaze have completely cooled, drizzle the glaze on top of each mini-bundt cake.
  • Depending on your preference you can be liberal or conservative with the glaze, but I found for the best visual effect, be liberal in the center and as you work your way outward, tapper it off so it just drips down the sides a little bit.
  • Finish each cake off with a sprinkle of the heath baking chips while the glaze is still sticky.

These delicious cakes are great for sharing or making little gifts, but I can tell you what happened to them around my home – breakfast! It was a very fun substitute for donuts, fall-themed, of course. With something other … than pumpkin spice.

Nom On,

~Crunchy

Santa’s Table: A Very, Merry, Yuletide

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We’ve all been there. The kid is looking at us with wide, glowing eyes and asking us if Santa exists and will he grant them their precious wishes. I’m still trying to encourage my cynical child to believe he does exist, so I have to bring my A-game. Well, if I had to stuff myself down a chimney (which I don’t have) and leave over priced toys for a kid I don’t even know … would I want to be sober for it? Certainly not.

Enter The Nog. I’m not talking about the nasty stuff they sell in cartons at the grocery store that should not even be allowed to be labeled Egg Nog. There really out to be a law, that stuff is such a travesty. I am talking about the real deal. I prefer to make the Puerto Rican varietal that uses Spiced Rum called Coquito. And since I was going with the very merry nogmas theme for that jolly old fatty, I went with Egg Nog Snickerdoodles as well.

Santa’s Merry Nogmas Table

Let’s start with The Nog

A word of warning about The Nog. This is NOT a cheap dish to make. I never spend less than 100 bucks, but it is so. worth. it. Instead of polluting the ingredient list with a bunch of *Don’t be cheap alerts, I am just going to apply it to the whole list. Go organic on the dairy products, get free range eggs, get the top shelf booze, and get the highest quality French vanilla ice cream. They all affect the flavor. Egg Nog is a magical experience and you’ll only have it once a year.

Ingredients

  • 24 Eggs
  • 2 Cups Sugar
  • 1 Quart Heavy Cream
  • 2 Quarts Whole Milk
  • 1 Liter of Brandy (British), Bourbon (American), or Spiced Rum (Puerto Rican.)
  • 1 Quart French Vanilla Ice Cream, softened.
  • Pinch of Salt
  • Ground Nutmeg (for garnish.)

Preparation

  • In one 5 quart mixing bowl and 1 1.5 quart mixing bowl seperate the eggs. I have tried many methods and the fastest way to do it is to crack each egg and use the shells to dash back and forth until the whites separate from the yolk. The yolk goes into the 5 quart bowl and the whites go into the 1.5 quart bowl.
    If you want to see how this method works, you can check out this video: https://youtu.be/t-OwbEy-Vxk
  • Once you have finished separating the yolks and the whites, add the sugar to the yolks. You will need to beat the yolks briskly with a wire whisk for 3 minutes. They should be thick and lemon-colored.
  • Next, you will fold in the dairy. Add the milk and cream. Keep whisking.
  • Now, this ingredient is really important. It’s what will have you muttering to yourself like Cap’n Jack Sparrow … “but, why is the rum gone?” Pour in the rum!!
  • And after that it’s time to fold in the french vanilla ice cream.
  • By now your arms should be pretty tired and you’ll be wondering why you read my blog or why you bothered engaging on this particular project. But don’t worry, you’re almost done.
  • It’s time to add a pinch of salt to the egg whites, bust out the hand mixer and whip them until they form soft peaks. This should take about 5 minutes. I have tried to do this by hand so many times. Don’t bother. I have only gotten the soft peaks with a hand mixer. I find it best just to accept one’s inadequacies and let the robot take over the world. If you don’t know what soft peaks are, here’s a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch/wMTxkDzBqSU
  • Now that you have your soft peaks, it is time to fold them in to the 5 quart bowl with the rest of the mixture. Folding is yet another technique that may be new to you. So check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skWSIFfIMqc
  • After you have finished all that, cover the mixture and refrigerate for at least 20 minutes before serving.
  • The customary garnish is ground nutmeg. Just give each cup a sprinkle, and, well, Bob’s your uncle.

And now, the Egg Nog Snickerdoodles

I created a hybrid recipe that was essentially a cheat, but, after laboring over the Nog itself and my requisite peanut butter cookies (I mean, how would you even know it was the holidays if you didn’t have peanut butter cookies?) I ended up going with a route that made heavy use of convenience ingredients. The result was still quite yummy, so the peanut gallery told me.

Ingredients

  • 1 Pouch (17.5 oz) sugar cookie mix
  • Butter and eggs called for on cookie mix pouch
  • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1/2 tsp rum extract (but, why is the rum gone!)
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup store bought egg nog

Preparation

  • Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
  • Microwave the butter in a small bowl for about 30-45 seconds to soften.
  • In a large bowl, combine the sugar cookie mix, the egg nog, 1/2 of the nutmeg, the rum extract, and the softened butter. Stir until a soft dough forms.
  • Combine the cinnamon and sugar in a separate small bowl to make your mixture to roll the cookies in.
  • Once the dough is done, roll the cookies into 1 1/4 inch balls and roll each cookie in the cinnamon-sugar mixture.
  • place on a greased cookie sheet. You will have to do them in batches, but keep the cookies about 2 inches apart.
  • Bake each batch for 7-9 minutes, until the edges are set.
  • Immediately transfer the cookies on to a counter or a cooling rack and let the cookies cool for 20 minutes. This is an important part of the baking process.
  • Wash, rinse, repeat!

So there you have it, Santa Clause’s Very, Merry, Yuletide table of goodies and salvation from sobriety on his longest and hardest night of the year.

Nom-Your-Jolly-Old-Saint-Nick-Self-On,

~Crunchy

Chicken Pot Pie Muffins

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Chicken pot pie is one of my very favorite comfort foods, but it comes with a host of problems. They are hard to make, because, pie, they are really dense so I can (read: should) never finish one, and unless I have a frozen one on hand I am never going to satisfy said craving when I’m actually feeling it. Imagine my delight at discovering this little hack! It’s simple, uses up left over rotisserie chicken if you have it, and all comes together with typical pantry staples so it’s economical as well.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup diced Rotisserie Chicken or 1 10 oz can shredded chicken in water, drained
  • 1 can Cream of Chicken soup
  • 1 10 oz package of frozen Peas and Carrots
  • 1 can of Pillsbury Grand Biscuits
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

Preparation:

  • Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
  • Prep muffin tin with either a coat of oil or non-stick spray.
  • Combine chicken, half of the bag of frozen peas and carrots, salt and pepper, and Cream of Chicken soup.
  • Press one biscuit into each muffin cup and spread it out so that it covers the surface.
  • Once the crust is prepared, spoon the mixture into each crust base and fill to about 3/4 quarters of the way.

Optional:

  • You can add cheddar or parmesan cheese.

Pop the tin into the oven and bake for 25-30 minutes. I recommend coating the crust with a little butter to give it a nice brown.

Cool for about 5 minutes, sprinkle with parsley, and Nom On!

~Crunchy

Juicy Baked Pork Chops: Perfectly spiced and everything nice

You know how it is. You see that package of pork chops on sale and you’re like, ‘Oh, Dang! That’s a good deal! I can feed the 5th battalion with that! Word.’ And so you buy it and stick in the fridge and some days go by. You open the refrigerator door several times a day and those pork chops stare at you. And then, they start editorializing. ‘You know we are going to go bad soon, right?’ ‘SLAM!’ The next day … ‘You know you didn’t save any money if you just end up throwing us away, right?’ ‘Huff! SLAM!’

And then it gets really sad, because you start having a conversation with the hecklers. ‘We’re still here.’ You can’t take the pressure any more so you yell back, you know, at the pork. “The 5th battalion isn’t coming. I don’t even have a phone number! It’s just that thing you tell yourself when meat goes on sale!’

Well, fellow travelers. Here’s how to snatch those chops from the pearly gates and make something glorious.

Spiced Pork Chops

Equipment

  • 9X13 Inch Glass Baking Dish

Ingredients

  • 6 boneless pork chops
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Cayenne Pepper
  • Crushed Red Pepper
  • Ground Cinnamon

Preparation

  • Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
  • Coat a 9X13 inch glass baking dish with EVOO.
  • Place pork chops in the baking dish.
    • *Note: The pork needs to fit snuggly together to tenderize and conserve juices. If there is too much space between the chops, use a smaller baking dish.

Now, for the fun:

  • For my recipe I used EVOO liberally, salt, pepper, cayenne, crushed red pepper, and cinnamon. I measured nothing. It was all on a wing and a prayer and, lord have mercy did it turn out amazing.
  • Now that you have had fun bedazzling both sides of your pork chop and you have made sure they are all snugly tucked together, your oven should be ready!
  • Pop them in on the middle rack for 16-18 minutes, uncovered. You want to reach an internal temperature of 145. Let the pork rest for about 5 minutes.

That’s it. Seriously. 10 minutes of prep, 20 minutes of cooking while you pound pinot grigio and spoil your appetite, and dinner is ready.

Is this a main dish or a base recipe?

Both.

This pork turned out juicy, complex, and delicate all at the same time. So if you want, just pair it with a starch and a green and ring the chow bell.

Or, because my rub is spicy, with a hint of ‘what the hell?’ due to the cinnamon, you can lean in for a little Caribbean-inspired fusion. I made a pork-mango salad for the spousal unit, but you whip up a batch of habanero-mango salsa and …. swaying to calypsos, baby.

So there you have it, fellow travellers, on-sale pork redemption.

Nom on,

~Crunchy

Cinnamon Buns (of Oblivion)

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Cinnamon buns really piss me off. You see, I am extremely intolerant of sugar. I can never remember if its hypo or hyperglycemia. I just know that two Cosmopolitans had enough sugar in them to knock me out cold sitting in rock hard seats in the nose bleed section outside at a White Zombie/Ozzie Osborne concert on a blustery November night. Oh yeah, that happened.

So you can imagine how much I have to avoid sugar. An interesting problem, since I love to bake. I can enjoy the wonderful smells at least, and the smiles my cookies and cakes give to others. Not so with the smell of freshly baked cinnamon buns. I always break down and eat a half of one. Then I sink into black oblivion, the gooey evidence of my trespass clutched in my sticky hand. If you want to join me there, friends, just follow the cinnamon and cream cheese frosted road…

Cinnamon Buns with Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

  • 2 oz Cream Cheese
  • 3 oz Butter
  • 1 1/2 cups self-rising flour
  • 8 oz Greek Yogurt
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon
  • 1/3 cup Light Brown Sugar
  • 1/4 tsp Salt

Preparation

  • Place butter in a small bowl and microwave for 30-60 seconds, or place in a small pot and melt over low flame. Once its mostly melted, set aside. It will be fully melted by the time you need it.
  • Add self-rising flour to a medium mixing bowl along with 2 Tbsp of melted butter. Add in the yogurt, 1/4 cup of powdered sugar, and 1 Tbsp of water.
  • Mix with clean hands until you have a shaggy dough.
  • On a flat work surface, like a large wooden cutting board or marble counter top, sprinkle liberally with bench flour. Coat your hands liberally, too. Add some more flour to a bowl and keep it handy. You’ll need it.
  • Turn out the dough onto your work surface and knead into a smooth and slightly sticky ball. You may need to sprinkle the dough with flour or coat your hands a few times during this process. Let the dough rest (being kneaded is hard work, after all) for 5 minutes while you make the cinnamon mixture.
  • In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar, remaining butter, cinnamon, and salt.
  • Using a rolling pin coated in flour, roll out your dough into an 8 X 11 oval. Cover almost the entire surface with the mixture. I leave a very thin edge all the way around.
  • Starting on the short side, roll your dough into a cylinder. Cut into 6 equal slices.
CinnamonRollsPrep.JPG

  • In a round baking pan or cast iron skillet, coat with a little oil or non-stick spray, and then assemble your slices into a tight ring with one slice in the center and the rest surrounding. They need to be snuggly pressed together to ensure the rolls don’t fall open during baking and the dough puffs upwards.
  • Bake the rolls at 375 degrees for 30-35 minutes. The tops should be lightly brown when done.
  • While the buns are baking, stir together the cream cheese, remaining powdered sugar, and 1 Tbsp of water. Stir the mixture until smooth.
  • Once the buns are done, I like to spread the frosting while they are still pretty warm so you get the drippy and gooey effect. If you like your frosting firm, let the buns cool first before you spread.

Oblivion awaits,
~Crunchy

Buttermilk Baked Chicken

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I’m a huge fan of fried chicken, but less excited about what the saturated grease does to my stomach. Enter this easy recipe that gives you utterly yummy, juicy chicken legs with 1/3 of the fat and none of the nasty. It does take about a day of advanced planning, but in general, it’s a very easy dish.

Buttermilk Baked Chicken

Buttermilk Baked Chicken

Ingredients

  • 9 or 10 chicken drumsticks
    • Budget Note: If you buy a big batch of drumsticks on sale and freeze them, you can defrost half the batch at the same time you marinate them.
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • Pepper hot sauce – Tabasco, Franks, or Louisiana hot sauce all work
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 cup plain or Italian breadcrumbs

Preparation

  • In a small bowl, combine the buttermilk, a few dashes of hot sauce, and the salt and pepper together and stir.
  • Pour the mixture into a large freezer-sized ziplock bag. Add the chicken drumsticks, frozen or fresh, into the bag with the mixture. Move the chicken and mixture around to make sure it’s all coated and place in the fridge to marinate.
    • Fresh chicken – 3 hours
    • Frozen chicken – 24 hours.
  • Once your chicken is done marinating, pour the bread crumbs into a bowl or onto a plate. Roll each drumstick around to fully coat and place on a baking sheet coated in olive oil.
  • Bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes.

Now you got yo’self a plate of chicken. Serve with whatever you normally like – baked beans, corn on the cob, potato salad, or mashed taters and gravy. No KFC shiz-nits for you!

Nom On,

~Crunchy